I HEART BACON
Wednesday, December 14th, 2005

Bacon Spray

A while back I heard about the Flavor Spray™ Diet, which was invented to replace things like toppings, gravies, dressings, and sauces. The line consists of liquid sprays that come in a range of flavors, including bacon. I laughed about it for a while, then curiosity got the better of me and I was compelled to order some.

With eager anticipation I waited for my sprays to arrive. And waited. And waited. A month and several phone calls later my sprays finally turned up. I tore open the box to find two little bottles of spray, one bacon and one parmesan flavored. I was still unclear about how I was supposed to use them. I suspected that I should spray them on food, but I wanted instant gratification after waiting that long. I decided to spray the bacon flavor directly onto my tongue. What could it hurt?

As usual, my naive innocence led my astray. It hurt bad.

It was like bathing my tongue in a tubful of liquid smoke. All I could taste was smoke. Was my tongue on fire? After that came the harsh chemical aftertaste. Choking and gasping for air I made my way to the sink. You know how they make those eye bath cups for chemical burns? I wanted one for my tongue.

I thought that maybe the parmesan one would be better. It was, in fact, even worse. I resisted the urge to throw them both straight into the trash. Instead I put them in my cupboard. They’re still sitting there. I planned to do a real review and try them on food instead of my tongue, but now, months later, the thought of tasting them again makes my taste-buds quiver in fear.

It’s real bacon for this girl from here on out.

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Wednesday, November 16th, 2005

Bacon eating bacon

Yet another funny (and disturbing) bacon t-shirt for my collection:
http://www.threadless.com/product/345/You_Are_What_You_Eat

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Monday, November 7th, 2005

Pig is Big

Josh Friedland, of The Food Section, just published a nice homage to pork in The New York Times article entitled Pig is Big. It touches on everything from Berkshire/Kurobuta pork (Berkshire bacon is incredible, BTW) to bacon bracelets to pork inspired art to the ingenious and lovely Wake n’ Bacon.

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Tuesday, October 4th, 2005

Chocolate-coated bacon

Someone did it. They beat me to it. They made chocolate covered bacon. The informative post covers the history of chocolate covered bacon, the process and the (less than stellar) results. I guess not everything tastes better with bacon…

On another, meat related note, I can’t resist throwing in this link I found via Blog on a Toothpick: salami rugs. I want the bierschinken one. Badly.

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Wednesday, August 17th, 2005

Bacon Spray

I’m simultaneously curious and very, very scared:
http://www.flavorspraydiet.com/flavors.html

(via Blog on a Toothpick)

Friday, July 1st, 2005

Bacon Robots

Okay, I’m not quite sure when this happened, but it seems as though “Bacon Whores” has turned into the now, much more PC “Bacon Robots”:

“Finally, you can have tasty, sizzling bacon, without all the shopping, planning, and preparation. Just schedule your appointment at baconrobots.com, and our trained automatons will come and prepare bacon for you, exactly the way you like it.”

Also, The Bacon Show just emailed me about their great new site which has the modest goal of “collecting and – eventually – cataloging every known bacon recipe”. My kind of site! Send in your bacon recipes!!

I guess while I’m at it, I should also mention two great links that were recently sent to me:
Katy sent me Hats of Meat and Phyl sent me the best invention ever made: WAKE n’ BACON.

Thanks guys!!

Friday, June 24th, 2005

Bacon Lifestyle

In my bacon adventures, I’ve come across many bacon lifestyle products which need some press. I’ve decided to create a new section. I will call it “Bacon Lifestyle”.

The latest item to be added to this new section are the Bacon is a Vegetable shirts I found on A Hamburger Today. If you see something that needs to be added, please let me know!

Thursday, June 23rd, 2005

The best bandage ever

It almost makes getting hurt fun!
http://www.mcphee.com/bigindex/current/11476.html

Wednesday, June 1st, 2005

Wild Boar Tour

My favorite person over at the Seattle Times (Nancy Leson) was answering some restaurant related questions in her latest column. Some (hi-brow!) 10-year-old requested a birthday meal of spit-roasted wild boar. Nancy suggested an about-town, Wild Boar Tour:

1. Bangkok boar satay at Wild Ginger
2. An organic, pan-roasted wild-boar rib chop at Harvest Vine (I love you, Harvest Vine)
3. Roasted wild-boar tenderloin with Gorgonzola sauce at Volterra (Ahem, you know where I’m going to be next weekend…)

I, personally, would suggest getting in the car and driving up to Wild Rice for the Su Dong Wild Boar—the best pork recipe I’ve ever tasted.

Have a happy, 10th birthday Aidan! Next year, you should do like me and throw yourself a Wild Boar Pig Roast Party.

Sunday, May 8th, 2005

Piece of meat

This could be the greatest shirt ever:
http://www.threadless.com/product/245/Piece_of_Meat

Biggles, this one’s for you!

Sunday, April 24th, 2005

IHEARTBACON.COM CafePress Store!

It’s here, the day you’ve all been waiting for. Okay, mostly just the day my friends have been waiting for…

IHEARTBACON.COM CafePress Store!
T-shirts, aprons, mugs, bumper stickers and more!

Thursday, February 17th, 2005

Nothing says “I love you” like bacon

My mom sent me four packages of bacon from the Grateful Palate for Valentine’s! The bacon arrived in Seattle today but wasn’t delivered, so I had to rescue it from the UPS distribution center. When I got home I opened up the box to find a shiny metallic bubble-wrap package. I opened that up to the intense smell of hickory-smoked bacon which nearly knocked me off my feet. The ice pack had completely melted and the bacon was on the verge of getting warm, so I had saved it just in time. Whew.

I had already eaten dinner so I put the bacon in the fridge. After a few minutes, I padded back into the kitchen to check on my bacon. Yep, still in the fridge, right where I left it. After a few more minutes, I got out my Grateful Palate handbook so that I could read the description for each bacon. Then I decided I needed to take pictures of my bacon. Finally I just gave up and cut open every package and reverently removed a slice from each.

Then I did something I’d never thought I’d do. I decided to microwave it. Now before anyone starts yelling about how wrong microwaving bacon is, let me just tell you why. I didn’t want to pan fry them all together because I wanted the integrity of each flavor to stay intact and not commingle. Plus I wanted each slice to be ready at the same time so I could compare and contrast. And using four pans to cook four pieces of bacon seemed ridiculous, even for me.

So I microwaved. I know people swear by this method, but I really do think it’s awful. It smelled like burnt paper towels and smoke. Plus you can’t save the bacon grease for frying other things because it gets embedded in the paper towels and turns into a nasty mess. I’ll never microwave bacon again, but for the purpose of my experiment it worked out well. The slices were nicely browned and somewhat crisp.

I carefully laid the bacon on my plate so that I could tell which was which. I ate half a slice of bacon from top to bottom, then I went back and ate the second half in the reverse order, taking notes along the way.

Meacham Old Fashioned Maple Cured Bacon (MOFMCB)
1st bite: Wow. This is what REAL bacon tastes like. It’s incredibly flavorful. And Juicy.

Burger’s Sugar Cured Bacon (BSCB)
2nd bite: Smoky, but not very sweet.

New Braunfels Comal Country Bacon (NBCCB)
3rd bite: Kind of boring tasting, but good crunch.

Gatton Farms “Dan Phillips Secret Special Cure” (GFDPSSC)
4th bite: Holy crap! This is way too smoky.

GFDPSSC
5th bite: Still smoky, but now I’m catching overtones of chemicals.
Overall impression: My least favorite. It tasted too smoky and had a gasoline-like aftertaste. Blech.

NBCCB
6th bite: This is really good bacon.
Overall impression: The least smoky of the bunch, not too sweet with a really good texture. My second favorite.

BSCB
7th bite: I like the thinness and delicacy of this bacon.
Overall impression: Good bacon flavor, smoky with just a hint of sweet. Thin and crisp.

MOFMCB
8th bite: Yeah, this is definitely my favorite.
Overall impression: Sweet and smoky with a strong spice that I couldn’t quite place.

I am looking forward to conducting many more bacon taste-tests in the future.

I LOVE YOU MOM!

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Thursday, January 20th, 2005

I want to put on my my my my my… bacon shoes!

A friend just sent me a link to the most awesome footwear ever: Dave’s Quality Meat Bacon Nike Air Max 90.

My favorite part? ”… the front toe of each shoe is different cuz the have these scuff marks which represents the fat deposits that’s on bacon… So no 2 are alike and everyone who has them are special.” (Another friend pointed out that this interview has the worst editing ever.)

The bad part? It looks like you can only get them in New York and according to the website: “WE DO NOT SHIP. DON’T ASK.” Lucky for me, my brother lives in Brooklyn…

Oh shoot. I just checked the site again and it looks like they sold out while I was writing this. Damn.

Wednesday, December 1st, 2004

Christmas has arrived early

The day I anticipate all year came last night when I found the latest Grateful Palate catalog in my mailbox. Dan Philips, a.k.a Captain Bacon, is the genius behind the Bacon of the Month Club. The guy that travels all over the country to bring us the finest specimens of bacon. His Grateful Palate catalog is beautifully designed and the mouthwatering descriptions of the bacon offerings are as sophisticated as wine tasting notes.

I urge everyone who isn’t already on their mailing list to sign up (the new catalog site doesn’t look like it’s up yet, but check back—it’s worth it).

Captain Bacon also co-hosts Aphrodisiac Bacon Dinners for those lucky enough to live in Washington DC. Maybe I should move there. It would be like Christmas once a month.

Monday, November 15th, 2004

Where are all the bacon lovers?

My friend and I were discussing the disturbing lack of sites that deal with Bacon, so I decided to do some research. These were the very strange results:

http://www.gratefulpalate.com – The best bacon catalog. Ever.

http://www.ratethebacon.com – A site for bacon lovers who love to talk about bacon.

http://www.baconspectator.com – Not up until Thanksgiving, but it looks promising.

http://www.foodsubs.com/MeatcureBacon.html – Not really a bacon site, but good bacon terminology.

http://www.craftyplanet.com/bacobuddies.htm – Again, not really a bacon site, but…

http://www.blacktable.com/bacon030515.htm – Bacon soap.

http://www.cbbqa.com/meat/pork/MakingBacon.html – How to make your own bacon.

http://www.maganda.org/blog/index2.php – A discontinued :( bacon blog.

http://www.danepak.co.uk/products/productsbread.html – I wish people wouldn’t defile bacon in this manner.

http://www.makinbacon.com/welcome.htm – I’m sorry, but microwaving bacon is just wrong.

http://www.cookingforengineers.com/article.php?id=3 – Or is it? Scientific Bacon.

http://www.nudist-resorts.org/talk/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=612&whichpage=7 – A compelling reason for microwaving bacon.

http://www.cockeyed.com/inside/bacon/bacon.html – The economy of bacon.

http://www.bayoudog.com/04kitchen/bacon.htm – Bacon as heroin.

http://www.landolakes.com/mealIdeas/ViewRecipeLarge.cfm?RecipeID=11963 – What could possibly be better than bacon?

http://www.indigo.org/bacon2004.html – I was about to give up on finding any more bacon links. Then I found this.