Wednesday, December 14th, 2005

Bacon Spray

A while back I heard about the Flavor Spray™ Diet, which was invented to replace things like toppings, gravies, dressings, and sauces. The line consists of liquid sprays that come in a range of flavors, including bacon. I laughed about it for a while, then curiosity got the better of me and I was compelled to order some.

With eager anticipation I waited for my sprays to arrive. And waited. And waited. A month and several phone calls later my sprays finally turned up. I tore open the box to find two little bottles of spray, one bacon and one parmesan flavored. I was still unclear about how I was supposed to use them. I suspected that I should spray them on food, but I wanted instant gratification after waiting that long. I decided to spray the bacon flavor directly onto my tongue. What could it hurt?

As usual, my naive innocence led my astray. It hurt bad.

It was like bathing my tongue in a tubful of liquid smoke. All I could taste was smoke. Was my tongue on fire? After that came the harsh chemical aftertaste. Choking and gasping for air I made my way to the sink. You know how they make those eye bath cups for chemical burns? I wanted one for my tongue.

I thought that maybe the parmesan one would be better. It was, in fact, even worse. I resisted the urge to throw them both straight into the trash. Instead I put them in my cupboard. They’re still sitting there. I planned to do a real review and try them on food instead of my tongue, but now, months later, the thought of tasting them again makes my taste-buds quiver in fear.

It’s real bacon for this girl from here on out.

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15 Responses to “Bacon Spray”

  1. Heather says:

    I’ve been meaning to try this myself but haven’t ordered any yet. I wonder what would it would taste like on eggs? Although based on your review, I’m a little scared now to find out…

  2. megwoo says:

    Heather, I bet it would be fine on eggs; less concentrated. But at this point I’m not really down to try it. I will totally send you the bottles if you want. Seriously!

  3. shyloh says:

    Now that is just to funny! I hope someone tries it ha.
    Happy holidays !!

  4. megwoo says:

    Thanks Shyloh, Happy Holidays to you as well!

  5. elmomonster says:

    That’s hilarious! If anything, you could probably use it as mace.

  6. megwoo says:

    I think you’re on to something there… You’re too funny!

  7. keiko says:

    Hi Megwoo – I’m curious about this one… I hope you have a wonderful christmas and new year, eat and drink well!

  8. megwoo says:

    Thanks Keiko! Happy New Year to you as well!

  9. Jane Wagener says:

    I just ordered 4 bottles of that David Burke stuff. My head is reeling with how wonderful it would be. Also, I ordered it on Nov. 27th and still have not received it as of today, 1/6/06. They, “Matt”, assures me it’s on its way. Now I’m totally disappointed. I ordered the two you mentioned as well as birthday cake and teriyaki. If they’re good, I’ll let you know.

  10. megwoo says:

    Hey Jane,
    Yes, please let me know if you like them. Like I said, I didn’t try them on food and they might be better that way. Although I kinda doubt that anything could make that parm one taste good… heh.

  11. Terry B. says:

    Hey Gals…. First off, the sprays are to be used on FOOD!!!!! My Bacon on eggs is awesome! I also got my butter too! YES! Flavor Spray all the way!

  12. megwoo says:

    Ha ha! Thanks Terry. One of these days I may get up the nerve to try it again… this time on food!

  13. Cindy Heggan says:

    What is the address to send for the spray?
    or website

  14. Hilarious site for all you bacon lovers, Even has a TBONE SHOWER CURTAIN, and a BACON Wallet!!

  15. Yeah, I to waited and waited and waited for my spray’s to come, albeit I had received previous orders that took long “also” and only after a call to the company did they come in – ending with a final order that has yet to be received, vowing never to order the stuff again.

    Subsequently outside of the bacon flavor “almost” every other flavor can be gotten in a coffee syrup form (way more dependable) look at CoffeeAM on the web.

    However, the bacon flavor might be a tuff one to find, and for what it’s worth, the spray version from this guy was acceptable.

    Consequently though, if you were to ask me, I would rather spend a small amount of energy (write an email) and get CoffeeAM to make a bacon flavor.

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