I HEART BACON
Monday, February 9th, 2009

Top Chef #6: Casting Call in Seattle

I was asked by the “Magical Elves” at Top Chef to pass this along to you all:

Bravo’s Emmy and James Beard Award-winning series and the No. 1 rated food show on cable, “Top Chef,” will be returning for a sixth season. Open calls for chefs interested in competing in the high-stakes culinary competition series will be held in cities across the country starting this weekend. Additional casting information for these series is available at www.BravoTV.com/casting.

SEATTLE
Wednesday, February 11, 10:00 AM – 2:00 PM
Canlis Restaurant
www.canlis.com

Good luck to my friend Scott Yockey Jones, who will be trying out!

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Thursday, October 16th, 2008

Bacon v. Mayonnaise

Bacon is so going to kick Mayo’s ass…

Mayonnaise v. Bacon

Mayonnaise v. Bacon

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Thursday, September 25th, 2008

Princess of Pork

Just three things to say:

1. OMG!!!
2. Why didn’t I think of this?
3. OMG!!!

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/09/24/porky-princess-tiara.html
http://theanticraft.com/archive/beltane08/porkprincess.htm

Thanks to Daniel for pointing this out.

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Monday, June 9th, 2008

EGGS

consumed on 6/8/08

I’m on Whidbey Island for the weekend, driving towards Double Bluff when I see a simple, hand-painted sign announcing “EGGS.” I’m in a (modern day) foraging-for-food kind of mood so I pull up the drive.

I see a man in the window staring blankly out at me and wonder if I’ve got the wrong house. There are no signs indicating eggs, only a sign that reads “Hippies Enter Here.” I’m having a slow morning and it takes me a second to realize that it’s pointing to the only entrance to the house.

The first thing I see is an old, bearded man wearing a dirty wife-beater, tooling around in a Hoveround chair. The second thing my eye goes to is the naked lady wall calendar and I’m unsure if this is actually a place to by eggs. My attention is diverted back to the man when he says “I know what YOU want…”

My fight or flight instinct has been on the fritz lately and it kicks in. But before I have time to make a decision, the man follows up with: “EGGS! I got ‘em in dozen or 18-packs.” He then motors off into the back room with me calling after him “Eighteen please!”

I’m trying to avoid eye-contact with the lady in the calendar so I look up and find a really great collection of old beer cans lining the top shelves. I pointedly examine them until he returns.

He is carrying a styrofoam tray on his lap and smiling so much that I’m instantly disarmed and charmed. Before I can pay he opens the carton to show me a gorgeous array of pearl, green and brown eggs. He is obviously (and rightly) proud, which leaves me feeling honored that he is sharing his eggs with me. I hand over $7 and continue on to the beach looking for more adventures.

———————

The next morning I announce that I’m making fried eggs with hollandaise sauce. I was expecting enthusiasm but am met with silence. No one actually said “But, we don’t have any bread” or “That sounds weird” so I take their silence as permission to proceed.

Awhile back my mom found this great, fool-proof recipe for hollandaise that, oddly enough, is from a Cuisinart manual. It is SO easy, but I manage to fuck it up.

First my butter explodes in the microwave, coating every surface in a deluge of grease. Then the butter that’s still left in the dish cools too much, so when I pour it into the Cuisinart it doesn’t thicken the sauce. I switch to the stove top method, but with less than 5 seconds of heat it’s the consistency of spackle. My fried eggs are done at this point and since no one really wanted the hollandaise to begin with, I don’t attempt to fix it.

It turns out that crazy thick hollandaise still tastes great. Although it is weird to eat egg sauce over eggs with nothing else. The best thing was the color. The yolks were so fresh that they produced a hollandaise the color of marigolds. Beautiful.

607

Eggs

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Monday, May 5th, 2008

Jammin’ Bacon

My mom likes to tell the story of my first Christmas as a toddler, in which I nearly hyperventilated while jumping up and down in my Johnny Jumper at the first sight of a wrapped present. These days I can usually keep my excitement under wraps, but when Josh from Skillet sent me a jar of BACON JAM I could feel my heart rate go up and my breath quicken. I was in the middle of a conversation which I quickly broke off when I spotted the package on the mail shelf. I tore into the box to find a small jar of dirt-colored paste. Honestly, it did not look appetizing, but that didn’t stop me from opening the jar right there in the lobby. I took one whiff of intoxicating bacon and plunged my finger right in.

This stuff is GOOD. Packed full of bacon, but also tempered with caramelized onions and a vinegary counterbalance that reminds me of chutney. I tried it on bagels with a bit of turkey (YUM), as a pizza base (YUM) and even stirred it into cottage cheese as a snack (YUM). I can’t wait to head down to Skillet and try it on their burger.

Thank you Josh!

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Saturday, July 21st, 2007

My savior has arrived…

And its’ name is BACON SALT.

I met with Dave, one of the geniuses behind Bacon Salt, a few weeks ago to try out the product. I was leery because of my past experience with Bacon Spray, but this stuff is the real deal. Completely tastes like bacon. And it’s fantastic on fries. And chicken. And maybe even licked straight out of the container.

The only thing to remember is that this is indeed salt, and unlike other things (i.e. bacon), you actually CAN have too much salt. So use it judiciously. But use it often.

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Wednesday, February 28th, 2007

She writes! Well, kind of…

I might be the only one that finds this funny:
My first post in months (and months) is actually to guide you to another site.

Celia Cheng at Cravings recently interviewed me for her special feature on the year of the pig: I HEART OINKERS!!!

Thanks Celia! Happy (Chinese) New Year!

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Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

Disgusting AND Brilliant!

What happens when a vegetarian starts eating meat again? 30 days of pork.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mandydale/tags/30daysofpork/

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Monday, May 1st, 2006

Pig Milk

A friend sent me this and I thought it was pretty damn funny:

http://www.jalanjalan.com/letters/pages%20and%20menus/industry.html#pork

Or pure genius. I can’t quite tell…

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Monday, April 10th, 2006

Seattle Food Blogger Get-Together

It’s high time we scheduled another Seattle Food Blogger event—so the next one is set for Tuesday, April 11th.

If you’re in Seattle, blog about food and would like to join us, please leave me a comment and I will email you the details!

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Thursday, March 9th, 2006

2006 Independent Food Festival Award - Best Result of Pigs Gone Wild

The second annual Independent Food Festival is here, and I have been asked to give an award. I know it’s predictable, but something in the world would be amiss if I didn’t give my award to bacon. Not that I’m giving this award out randomly; this bacon truly deserves an award—or maybe even several. So I present to you the 2006 Independent Food Award – Best Result of Pigs Gone Wild: Wild Boar Bacon.

I discovered wild boar bacon about a year ago and ever since have made it my mission to introduce it to as many people as possible. I’m like a drug dealer except what I’m pushing is legal and much better than crack (so I’m told).

In researching my award, I was shocked to find out that there are an estimated two million wild boar (a.k.a. feral hogs) roaming wild and free in the state of Texas. So many that they are deemed pests—albeit 200 pound pests with razor sharp tusks and a nasty fighting technique called disembowelment. Wild boar are also 90% vegetarian (i.e. they create significant crop damage) and have no natural predators, so hunting season for wild boar is open year-round with no limits, and can be hunted by any means possible, at any time of day.

For this particular bacon, the meat comes from Southern Wild Game, Inc out of Devine, Texas where freelance trappers can exchange their hogs for cash. The wild boar are then sold to Sierra Meats in Reno, Nevada, which then sends the bellies to Dale’s Exotic Game Meats in Brighton, Colorado for smoking. The boar bellies spend 2-3 hours in a vacuum tumbler with a salt and sugar brine, then are cold smoked over hickory for 10 hours. Then the bacon travels to Exotic Meats in Bellevue, Washington where it can be purchased by the public. Yes, the food miles are ridiculous, but this bacon is so worth it.

UPDATE: Keiko just posted a beautiful award for rare breed pigs… check it out!

====================
THE BACON RATING SYSTEM
====================
(see B.R.S. for more information)

BACON STATS

Brand: n/a
Name: Wild Boar Bacon
Cost per pound: $9.50 (sold in 1-2 pound packs)
Where purchased: http://www.exoticmeats.com

Packaging: Vacuum-sealed in thick plastic and flash frozen
Cut: Whole slab; sliced at home into medium-thick slices
Preservatives: Sodium nitrate

Cooking heat: Low
Total cooking time: 25-30 minutes

BACON RATING

Pork Flavor
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much

Smoke
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much

Salt
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much

Sugar
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much

Fat
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much

Texture
too chewy << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too crisp

OVERALL SCORE: 4.67 out of 5

BACON TASTING NOTES

  • Beautiful raw slab with deep, deep red meat—colored more like venison or elk than pork.
  • Very hard to visually tell the “grain” of the meat, but knife meets slight resistance if cutting with the grain. You want to cut against the grain, otherwise the bacon is too chewy.
  • Optimal cooking requires low heat for a long time in order to render fat and crisp bacon without burning; it’s like torture waiting for bacon to cook as the smell is incredible.
  • Extreme shrinkage was evident, due to the large amount of fat rendered. Keep fat at all costs, it’s simply amazing to cook with—much more flavorful than regular bacon drippings.
  • Flavor is out of this world. I wouldn’t call it gamey, but it has a pronounced, rich pork flavor that’s almost sweet. The bacon tasted almost maple-y and bordered on slightly too sweet and too salty, but the whole combination was heady and gluttonous in the best possible way. This is bacon that’s meant to be savored.

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Tuesday, March 7th, 2006

Introducing the B.R.S.

A while back I decided it was high time for me to start reviewing bacons, so I devised a Bacon Rating System (B.R.S.) to accurately rate and compare bacons without having to eat all the bacon in one sitting (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

I promise that all reviews will be entirely subjective and totally biased, but I encourage debate—if you disagree with a rating, please let me know! If you are interested in rating your own bacon using the system below, please send me a link to your post or contact me at baconreviews@iheartbacon.com and I will post your review.

Insert tongue in cheek and then read on:
If you are a bacon maker (i.e. my hero) and would like me to review your product, I will absolutely accept free samples. But please note that Free Bacon != Good Review. If I like the bacon, I’ll say so; if it sucks, I will tell you it sucks (although I’m not entirely sure that bacon could suck).

For the ratings, all bacon will be pan-fried over optimal heat and cooked to optimal doneness; until just crisp, but still a little chewy (total cooking time and heat will be recorded). The Bacon Rating System will work as follows…

(Stay tuned for the first review which will be posted on March 9th!)

====================
THE BACON RATING SYSTEM
====================

BACON STATS

Brand:
Name:
Cost per pound:
Where purchased:

Packaging:
Cut:
Preservatives:

Cooking heat:
Total cooking time:

BACON RATING

The scale looks like this: 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1
The left end is “not enough” and the right end is “too much”, so a perfect score would be 5

Pork Flavor
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much

Smoke
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much

Salt
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much

Sugar
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much

Fat
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much

Texture
too chewy << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too crisp

OVERALL SCORE:

BACON TASTING NOTES

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Friday, February 17th, 2006

Gummy Bacon

I just received Archie McPhee’s latest newsletter and was floored to see that they now sell Gummy Bacon. Brilliant!

Too bad it isn’t bacon flavored

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Thursday, February 9th, 2006

Bacon card for bacon lovers

I don’t buy into the whole Valentine’s day thing…

However. If someone were to get me a card, I would hope that it would be the best bacon card ever:

http://www.twopiglets.com/letterpress.php?product_id=264

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Thursday, February 2nd, 2006

Vios Cafe & Marketplace

consumed on 9/29/05

There are many reviews about Vios Cafe and they all have a similar consensus: a tragic story, good food and lots of kids. Before visiting Vios I thought it was odd how many of the reviews mentioned the presence of kids, but seconds after walking in I realized what they meant: there was a literal mosh pit of screaming kids at the back of the cafe. Other than that Vios was a pleasant, large, open space with lots of windows. The casual dinning area was scattered with shelves of imported pantry items for sale, up front there was a deli counter, and in back (near the mosh pit) were refrigerator cases filled with more goodies for purchase.

I ordered the lamb picadillo ($13.50) and when it arrived I was shocked at how small the portion was: two teeny peppers stuffed with lamb on a bed of greens. In the back of my mind I was thinking “what a rip off” and then the flavors hit my tongue and those thoughts quickly melted away. This was the best stuffed pepper I’ve ever had. The lamb stuffing was beyond tender, heavily spiced with rich, savory-sweet Mediterranean flavors and the soft red pepper was a perfect piquant foil.

For dessert I tried the galakto cake ($5), which was a bit of a departure for me since I’m not a fan of polenta cake. Galakto is made with semolina (as opposed to cornmeal) and has a slightly grainy, but wonderful, texture. It was served warm and topped with a hot, sugary syrup that made me swoon. I instantly thought of my mom (who loves polenta cake) and made a mental note to bring her here ASAP.

This is definitely a place I will return to—although probably not for a romantic date or with those that are hard of hearing.

Vios Cafe & Marketplace on Urbanspoon

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